Friday, July 29, 2011

Expectations

A strong surge of thoughts are proliferating their way through my mind. These thoughts are about relationships we share and maintain with others. Do these relationships - good or bad, determine our happiness quotient? Can we manage to remain happy while other people whom we share our existence with have problems? Can we hurt someone and feel good about it?
Not possible. Resentment never gives happiness. Anger never gives happiness. Unrealistic expectations on others never give happiness. Happiness is subjective and it largely depends on how you share your relationship with your family and friends. You alone cannot be happy. You are happy together or you are not happy at all. Practice unconditional giving without expecting anything back, for expectation is the root cause of all misery. Expectations are burdens that we carry along with us. More the expectation, heavier the resentment - for most of the expectations are not fulfilled.
 
The story of Krishna and Sudama narrates the beauty of going along in life without expectations. Krishna is the emperor of Dwaraka and Sudama is a poor Brahmin. Krishna and Sudama get introduced to each other during their learning days under the tutelage of Sandeepani Muni. As time progresses, with the necessary wisdom acquired, both tread their own paths. As destiny would have it, Krishna ends up as an emperor and Sudama struggles with the vagaries of life, barely able to make the ends meet.
 
Upon the insistence of his wife, and due to sheer poverty, Sudama reluctantly agrees to approach Krishna to help him bail out of dire straits. He embarks on a journey of hundred miles on foot carrying with him a handful of chipped rice (that his wife borrows from her neighbors) to be offered to Krishna when he meets him. With his ragged clothes and disheveled looks, he’s blocked entrance into Krishna’s palace by security guards. Sudama’s claim of being Krishna’s friend falls on deaf ears and he’s denied permission to meet the emperor. Aghast and tired, Sudama decides to walk back. Krishna, being omniscient, envisions this incident and comes running to the palace gates to welcome his dear friend. Like a mother who embraces a child that returns to her after going amiss, Krishna embraces Sudama, tears welling out of his eyes on seeing his dear friend.
 
Sudama is given a courteous treatment in the palace during his stay. Krishna forcibly snatches the bag of chipped rice that his friend has carried for him and savors every bit of it. Pleasantries are exchanged and many matters are discussed between the two friends. However, Sudama never mentions about this poverty to Krishna and always claims he’s happy with his family.
 
The day arrives when Sudama has to depart. He doesn’t utter a word about the reason he has come to visit his emperor friend. He leaves with a smile just thinking of the wonderful moments that he spent with Krishna during his stay in Dwaraka. The moment his hometown dawns close, he feels tensed and nervous. He then realizes he didn’t ask Krishna anything for himself. He thinks of his wife and her expectations. He is filled with gloom and agony. However he just chants his friends name and makes his way forward hoping his wife will forgive him once she hears how her husband was royally treated by the king.

From a distance, Sudama sees a complete transformation of his entire village. Gone are the huts and thatched houses and replaced are mansions made of gold and silver. His own house is transformed to a royal palace by the architect of heaven, Vishwakarma. As he enters his village, he’s given a rousing welcome by the villagers and his wife. She stands at a distance, eyes closed and tears welling out, a gait bearing a sincere appreciation of what he has done for her. Sudama is clueless. He is in a state of shock. He knows its Krishna’s work, but he never asked for it. In fact, he never mentioned about his state.

Sudama never carried any expectations on his friend; however he was rewarded beyond expectations. This is how life works.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Smile is Not a Mile Away !

I posed for a passport sized photograph, and the photographer recommended for certain minor bodily adjustments. Having settled his subject with the correct posture using all his experience mastered in the art of clicking pictures, the photographer, before releasing his energy on the flash button, politely asked me to ‘smile’. Without a second thought, like a student sincerely obliging to the directions given by his master, I curved my lips a bit to let out a suppressed smile. It appeared a herculean task to get a photo clicked. The photos were handed over in a matter of minutes and the smiling picture appeared impressive. A picture is nothing but an impression of our true self. It reveals more than it hides. This made me ponder on the act of smiling.

If a smiling picture can draw attention, what about a smiling person? A child is attracted to a person who smiles. A security guard lets pass a person without much scrutiny who wears a smile. The shopkeeper attends a customer with much politeness if there is a smile. If an accident is averted, one smile can trigger another from the other end. An interviewer feels relaxed interviewing smiling candidates. Smile gets a lot of unnoticed credit and appreciation. The face looks beautiful with a smile. A stressful situation can feel lighter and greatly manageable with a smile.
 
An adage goes "Frown and you frown alone, smile and the whole world smiles with you”. Smiling and laughing are highly contagious. It spreads like wild fire. If one observes a group of people laughing, the heart yearns to be a part of that group, for the heart knows where it should belong.
 
There surely shall be times when we feel sad and depressed. There shall be times when we feel burdened with life’s challenges. There shall be times when we go through the grind of extreme pressure. But, in the midst of all this, if we realize that dawn shall invariably return after the dusk, we’ll be able to smile. Life was never meant to be easy. However, life was never always meant to be arduous as well. Happiness and tranquility can be discovered in the midst of grief and stress. Nothing is permanent. Tough situations shall make way for relaxed ones. Dark clouds shall make way for bright sunrays. Endure tough situations with a smile my dear friends, easier ones shall smile their way into your life.
 
So, if you are stranded on the middle of a highway with a flat tyre - smile. If your boss gets over demanding at work - smile. If your mother-in-law has unrealistic expectations from you - smile. If you have too many tasks and very limited time to complete them - smile. If you wish to reach office on time but the traffic eats out heavily on your time - smile. If your kid’s tantrums are making you go crazy - smile. If your neighbor’s wife always wears a frown - smile. If a baby in the adjacent compartment of a train incessantly cries and makes you lose your sleep - smile. If unexpected rains spoil your beer party – smile. If your wife demands a golden necklace – don’t smile, laugh :)). If your colleagues spend too much time on facebook – smile. If your mobile slips from your hand and faces fatality – smile. If your captain is furious on you for a dropped catch - smile. If a friend doesn’t keep his commitment as his wife doesn’t allow him to step out – smile. If an interviewer asks you a question and you don’t have an inkling of knowledge on that – smile. If your maid doesn’t turn up for work one day – smile. Last but not the least, if Sachin Tendulkar misses his century by a run – smile.
 
You gotta smile because a frown shall never change the situation. It continues to be just that. A smile doesn’t change the situation either, but it shall keep you healthy and calm, something that a frown conveniently misses by a mile.

Keep Smiling :) :)
-Sandeep Mahagaonkar